Kunio Hara on Ho-Me-I-Ku, Christian Parenting, and the Power of Encouragement

Some children hear more about what they did wrong than anything they did right. We notice the unfinished homework, the attitude, the mess, and the mistake. Those things need attention. But if correction is the only time our children hear us clearly, we need to examine what we are teaching them about themselves and about us.

Kunio Hara, founder of Ho-Me-I-Ku and chairman of the Ho-Me-I-Ku Foundation, has built his work around helping people recognize and encourage the good in others. His educational approach began in Japan and has been applied in families, schools, and workplaces. At its center is a simple practice: pay attention to people’s strengths and acknowledge the actions that help them grow.

Hara was raised in a Christian family in Japan. According to the background his team shared, growing up around church helped shape his thinking about encouragement, family, goodness, and service. That connection is also explored in a Japan Times feature about his work.

For Christian parents, this raises a question worth taking seriously. What do our children hear when we speak to them? Do they hear patient instruction from someone who loves them, or have they learned to expect frustration before we even open our mouths?

Paul writes:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Colossians 3:21, ESV

That is a direct warning to fathers. Our responsibility includes paying attention to how our children receive our leadership. We can demand obedience while overlooking the discouragement our own behavior is producing. A child can follow instructions and still feel that nothing they do will ever be enough.

Ho-Me-I-Ku encourages people to identify strengths and recognize positive behavior. Its founder’s explanation describes learning to see what is valuable in another person rather than allowing their weaknesses to become the only thing we notice. For parents, that gives us something practical to consider in the ordinary moments of family life.

When your child tells the truth about something difficult, acknowledge the honesty. When they help a sibling without being asked, notice it. When they keep working after getting frustrated, tell them you saw the effort. You do not have to exaggerate or turn every small action into a celebration. Just be truthful and specific.

There is a difference between encouraging a child and teaching them that everything they do deserves applause. Children still need boundaries. They need correction, responsibility, and clear instruction about right and wrong. But correction should help them grow, and encouragement should help them recognize what faithfulness looks like in practice.

The same question follows us into ministry. Do volunteers only hear from us when something goes wrong? Do we notice the person who arrives early, keeps a commitment, or quietly helps someone who needs attention? It is easy to assume faithful people already know we appreciate them. Sometimes we have never actually said it.

Paul tells the church:

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV

Encouragement belongs in the regular life of the church. We should be able to name evidence of growth in one another and give thanks for it. Someone who is learning patience, keeping their word, or serving through a difficult season should not have to wonder whether anyone sees their effort.

Hara’s work also reaches beyond parenting. The foundation promotes education and social contribution, while its training includes applications for leaders and organizations. The settings are different, but the question remains familiar: are we helping people develop, or simply pointing out where they are falling short?

As Christians, we bring that question back to Scripture. Our words should be governed by truth and love. Encouragement loses its value when it becomes flattery, and correction loses its purpose when it becomes an outlet for our anger. We are responsible for both what we say and the spirit in which we say it.

That starts close to home. Before looking for another parenting strategy, consider the last few conversations you had with your child. Was there room for listening? Did you acknowledge anything good? Did you correct a specific action, or make a sweeping statement about who they are?

Those questions can be uncomfortable, especially when we are tired. But our children should not have to carry the weight of our unchecked frustration. We can apologize when we speak harshly. We can slow down before responding. We can learn to notice growth with the same attention we give mistakes.

A conversation at the dinner table, a word after practice, or a quiet thank you can become an opportunity to show a child that their choices and contributions matter to you.

Kunio Hara’s work invites parents, educators, and leaders to take encouragement seriously. You can learn more about Ho-Me-I-Ku, its educational approach, and the foundation’s activities at Homeiku.com.