Jennifer Hope Longenecker on Held in the Dark, Eating Disorders, and Supporting Your Child

Loving your child does not mean you always know how to help them.

You can pray for them, stay awake worrying about them, and do everything you know to do while still feeling helpless. And when your child is struggling with an eating disorder, that fear can follow you into every appointment, every conversation, and every quiet moment when you wonder what comes next.

Jennifer Hope Longenecker knows that fear as a mother. She also knows the struggle personally.

In her book, Held in the Dark: Finding Light and Hope While Supporting Your Adolescent Through an Eating Disorder, Jennifer writes alongside her daughter, Heather Elizabeth, about their family’s experience with an eating disorder and recovery.

Jennifer brings the perspective of a parent trying to understand and support her child. Heather brings the perspective of the daughter who lived through it. Jennifer also shares her own history with an eating disorder, something that adds another layer to what it meant to watch her daughter struggle.

This is a mother and daughter allowing other families into a difficult part of their lives because they know someone else is facing it right now.

And families in that position need more than someone telling them everything will be fine.

They need people willing to listen.

They need appropriate care.

They need support that does not disappear when recovery takes longer than everyone expected.

Scripture tells us:

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2, ESV

Bearing a burden requires getting close enough to feel some of its weight. We cannot do that if we are more concerned with offering a quick answer than understanding what someone is carrying.

As Christians, we need to be careful about how we respond to families dealing with mental health struggles. We should pray. We should trust God. But we should never make a parent or child feel ashamed for needing professional help.

Seeking treatment is not a rejection of faith.

Jennifer is a certified mental health coach with an emphasis in trauma-informed care, as well as a certified life coach. Her training informs her work, but she is clear that she is not a physician or licensed therapist. Held in the Dark is a resource for families, not a replacement for professional treatment.

The book is organized into six parts covering recognition and crisis, treatment, and coming home. It addresses navigating medical, therapeutic, and school systems, caring for the parent’s emotional health, and rebuilding trust and connection.

Heather’s voice is important here. Parents can explain what they saw happening, but their child may remember that same season very differently. By writing together, Jennifer and Heather make room for both experiences.

Sometimes helping someone begins with admitting that we do not fully understand.

That is difficult for a parent. We want to protect our children. We want to recognize the problem, find the answer, and make things better. But there are seasons when we have to keep learning how to help while accepting that we cannot control every outcome.

The parent needs care too.

It is easy to ask about the child and forget to ask how the mother or father is doing. They may be answering questions, arranging appointments, and caring for the rest of the household while quietly becoming exhausted themselves.

Checking on that parent matters. Listening without rushing them matters. Continuing to show up matters. That may mean remembering the appointment they mentioned last Sunday, asking what practical help they need, or making time for an honest conversation without expecting them to have good news.

Paul also tells believers:

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15, ESV

Notice that he does not tell us to explain away their tears.

There is room for grief among the people of God. There is room to admit that we are frightened, tired, or unsure what to do next. Trusting the Lord does not require pretending that a painful situation is easy.

Jennifer’s faith is part of her story. She holds a degree in Scripture and Theology from LeTourneau University, and her work includes Rooted Book Co., a faith-based bookstore specializing in mental health. In Held in the Dark, she shares how faith sustained her while writing for parents from different backgrounds.

Her daughter’s participation keeps this from becoming a story told only about her. Heather gets to speak for herself, offering parents insight into what their child may struggle to communicate.

For a family walking through this, that perspective can open a needed conversation.

We cannot promise parents a simple road. We can refuse to leave them walking it alone.

Learn more about Jennifer and her work at JenniferHopeLongenecker.com. Her book, Held in the Dark, is available on Amazon. You can also connect with Jennifer on Facebook and Instagram.